Try Not To Have A Good Time...

You Know, In A Way, 'dear Santa Claus' Is Rather Stuffy... Perhaps Something A Little More Intimate Would Be Better... Something Just A Shade More Friendly..." "how About 'dear Fatty'?

Though Her Husband Often Went On Business Trips, She Hated To Be Left Alone. "i've Solved Your Problem," He Said. "i've Bought You A St. Bernard. Its Name Is Great Reluctance. Now, When I Go Away, You Shall Know That I Am Leaving You With Great Reluctance!" She Hit Him With A Waffle Iron.

The Only Thing I Ever Wanted To Be Was A Cartoonist. That's My Life. Drawing.

A Good Education Is The Next Best Thing To A Pushy Mother.

Beethoven Can't Really Be Great Because His Picture Isn't On A Bubble Gum Card.