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Now How About This, Ladies And Gentlemen? The Governor Of Alaska, Sarah Palin, Has Announced She Is Stepping Down. She Will No Longer Be The Governor Of Alaska. First Thing, She Woke Up And Went Out On Her Porch And Waved Goodbye To Russia.

I Got Some Good News Earlier Today Before The Show. Thanks To Alex Rodriguez, I Am No Longer The Most Overpaid Disappointment In New York City.

You Like Science? You Enjoy Science? Always Use It For Good, Never For Evil. Can You Promise Me That?

The Last Time The French Asked For 'more Proof' It Came Marching Into Paris Under A German Flag

I Believe I Have Voted For Both Democrats And Republicans. Am I Either One? Absolutely Not. Ladies And Gentlemen, I Am An American.