Tomorrow Is Your Future's Yesterday.

Technically My Dog's Naked Most Of The Time. Except Halloween, When I Dress Him Up As Liza Minelli.

Anyway, If You Needed Something Really Dangerous, Get A Gun. It's Easy, It's Cheap, And It's The American Way.

It's Very Interesting To Know What People Are Doing While You're Working On Late-night Television.

I Think Comedy As An Art Involves The Audience As A Participant As Much As Is Involves The Artist.

Here In California, We Passed A Law Against Texting While Driving. But There's No Law Preventing You From Writing A Letter While Driving.