To Listen To Your Own Silence Is

When I Played The Sahara Hotel In Las Vegas On New Year's Eve, I Got To Bring Wiley, My 85-pound Black Lab. He's Responsible For My Favorite New Year's Memory Of All: At The End Of The Show, He Ran Onstage And Then Out Across All The Tables In The Showroom, Sending Champagne Glasses And Gamblers Flying.

A Study Last Year Showed That The Page You Turn To First In The Newspaper Can Be A Predictor Of How Long You Will Live. No Surprise, Turning First To The Comics Pages Prolongs Your Life.

The Vatican Is Against Surrogate Mothers. Good Thing They Didn't Have That Rule When Jesus Was Born.

While Editors And Newspaper Owners Currently Fret Over Shrinking Readership And Lost Profits, They Do The One Thing That Insures Cutting Their Own Throats; They Keep Reducing Space For The One Feature That Attracts New Young Readers In The First Place; The Comic Strips.

Guys Wake Up At Your Place And They Expect Breakfast. They Don't Eat Bagels And M&m's In The Morning. They Want Things Like Toast. I Say, 'i Don't Have These Recipes.'