To A Southerner It Is Faux Pas,

Let's Bring Back Grandmothers! A Real Family Consists Of Three Generations. It's Time Americans Stopped Worrying About Interference And Being A Burden On The Children And Regrouped Under One Roof.

The Nice Thing About Southerners Is The Way We Enjoy Our Neuroses.

Resistance To Team Play Seemed To Pour Like Wet Cement Through My Bones, Displacing Supple Marrow, Until I Was Ballasted With My Own Contempt.

The Confidence And Security Of A People Can Be Measured By Their Attitude Toward Laxatives. At The High Noon Of The British Sun, Soldiers In Far-flung Outposts Of The Empire Doctored Themselves With "a Spoonful O' Gunpowder In A Cuppa 'ot Tea." Purveyors And Users Of Harsh Laxatives Were Not Afraid Of Being Thought Mean And Unfriendly Just Because Their Laxatives Were. But In America, The Need To Be Nice Is So Consuming That Nobody Would Dare Take A Laxative That Makes You Run Up The Stairs Two At A Time, Pushing Others Aside And Yelling, "get Out Of The Way!

People Are So Busy Dreaming The American Dream, Fantasizing About What They Could Be Or Have A Right To Be, That They're All Asleep At The Switch. Consequently We Are Living In The Age Of Human Error.