To A Southerner It Is Faux Pas,

Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged Judgmental.

Democracy Is The Fig Leaf Of Elitism.

When You Go Apartment-hunting In The South, You Encounter Little Old Ladies Who Ask You If You Use Strong Drink. In New York You Encounter Paranoids Who Wonder If You Will Commit Suicide--not That They Care; What They Worry About Is Blood On Their Fresh Paint, A Dubious Smell In The Hallway, Or A Hole In The Awning As You Pass Through On Your Way To The Sidewalk. The Southerner Who Moves To Any Part Of The Country Has Problems, But The Culture Shock That Attacks The Southerner Who Moves North Is Almost Indescribable.

A Cardinal Rule Of Writing Is Never Interrupt Yourself To Explain Something. If You Must Bring Up An Obscure Topic, Drop Informative Hints About It As You Go Along So That You Don't End Up With The Entire Explanation All In One Place. This Keeps You From Skidding To A Stop And Sounding Teacherish. Otherwise It's Better To Omit The Obscure Topic Altogether, Or As Mothers Might Put It: If You Can't Say It Interestingly, Don't Say It At All.

The Witty Woman Is A Tragic Figure In American Life. Wit Destroys Eroticism And Eroticism Destroys Wit, So Women Must Choose Between Taking Lovers And Taking No Prisoners.