To A Drinker The Sensation Is Real

When I Drank, The Part That Felt Dangerous And Needy Grew Bright And Strong And Real. The Part That Coveted Love Kicked Into Gear. The Yes Grew Louder Than The No.

Smooth And Ordered On The Outside; Roiling And Chaotic And Desperately Secretive Underneath, But Not Noticeably So, Never Noticeably So.

Dogs Possess A Quality That's Rare Among Humans -- The Ability To Make You Feel Valued Just By Being You -- And It Was Something Of A Miracle To Me To Be On The Receiving End Of All That Acceptance. The Dog Didn't Care What I Looked Like, Or What I Did For A Living, Or What A Train Wreck Of A Life I'd Led Before I Got Her, Or What We Did From Day To Day. She Just Wanted To Be With Me, And That Awareness Gave Me A Singular Sensation Of Delight.

I'm Still Prone To Periods Of Isolation, Still More Fearful Of The World Out There And More Averse To Pleasure And Risk Than I'd Like To Be; I Still Direct More Energy Toward Controlling And Minimizing Appetites Than Toward Indulging Them.

Academic Achievement Was Something I'd Always Sought As A Form Of Reward. Good Grades Pleased My Parents, Good Grades Pleased My Teachers; You Got Them In Order To Sew Up Approval.