This Week Biden Said That He Will

I'm On So Late I'm Definitely The Last Seconds Of Anyone's Attention. So I Just Want To Give Them Something Dumb To Laugh At, So They Go, 'that's Funny,' Then Fall Asleep.

Oh Here's An Idea: Let's Make Pictures Of Our Internal Organs And Give Them To Other People We Love On Valentine's Day. That's Not Weird At All.

I Had A Gun And I Had To Run And Shoot, Which Is Not Easy.

Donald Trump's Not Backing Down. Yesterday He Said He Doesn't Need To Be Lectured By The Other Republican Candidates, Who He Says Have No Business Running For President. Not To Be Confused With Donald Trump, Who Ran For President And Now Has No Business.

This Week, A 95-year-old Woman Married A 98-year-old Man To Become The World's Oldest Newlyweds. They're Registered At Bed, Sponge Bath And Beyond.