This Week A Man Was Arrested For

Look, I Know These Rick Perry Jokes Are A Little Mean, But Tomorrow, He Won't Even Remember Them.

President Obama Spent Election Day Away From Any Press Coverage, Attending Closed-door Meetings Inside The White House. But On The Bright Side, It Is Nice To See Some Doors Actually Closed At The White House. It's A Whole New Secret Service Security Thing.

I Know What You Want. And I Know What You Need. But I'm Gonna Screw It Up, Yeah, Cause I'm An Idiot. And I'm Your Boyfriend.

Yesterday The Ceo Of Citigroup Said That He Can Understand Why All These Occupy Wall Street Protesters Are So Frustrated. In Fact, He Felt So Bad For Them, He Gave Himself A $10 Million Sympathy Bonus.

When Nbc Told Me I Got The Job, I Asked, 'can We Do It From New York?' There Was Just Silence On The Phone