This Is So Weird. I Saw The

President Bush Has Delivered A New Resolution To The U.n. Saying That Saddam Has Failed To Cooperate With U.n. Resolutions, Freeing Us To Get Our War On. Don't Mess With Us France, Or We'll Send Jerry Lewis To Iraq As A Human Shield.

President Bush Is Trying To Put A Positive Spin On The Latest Bad Economic Numbers. Today He Declared Victory In The 'war On Jobs.'

President Bush Announced A Billion Dollar Mission To The Moon And Mars. He Came Up With A Snappy New Slogan - To Drill Where No Man Has Drilled Before.

My Brother Asked Me Once, 'are You A Misanthrope?' And I Said, 'no, I Just Find People Irritating.'

Ironically, The Possibility That The President Dodged His Military Service Has Increased His Approval Ratings With Democrats By 80 Percent.