This Is Not A Time To Quail,

I Have Come To The Conclusion That Tony Blair Has Finally Gone Mad ... He Made Assertions That Are So Jaw-droppingly And Breathtakingly At Variance With Reality That He Surely Needs Professional Psychiatric Help.

The Lib Dems Are Not Just Empty. They Are A Void Within A Vacuum Surrounded By A Vast Inanition.

We Celebrate The Contribution Of People Who Have Come To This Country To Make It Better.

It Is Said That The Queen Has Come To Love The Commonwealth, Partly Because It Supplies Her With Regular Cheering Crowds Of Flag-waving Picaninnies; And One Can Imagine That Blair, Twice Victor Abroad But Enmired At Home, Is Similarly Seduced By Foreign Politeness. They Say He Is Shortly Off To The Congo. No Doubt The Ak47s Will Fall Silent, And The Pangas Will Stop Their Hacking Of Human Flesh, And The Tribal Warriors Will All Break Out In Watermelon Smiles To See The Big White Chief Touch Down In His Big White British Taxpayer-funded Bird.

I Love Tennis With A Passion. I Challenged Boris Becker To A Match Once And He Said He Was Up For It But He Never Called Back. I Bet I Could Make Him Run Around.