They Say, Keep Your Enemies Closer. But

The Other Day My Twelve-year-old Says To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You Right Now. You're In The Car With Me, You're Checking Your E-mail, You're Not Listening To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You. And I Say, You Know What? That Was Your Mother's Gripe, Too. And She Was Right. And You're Also Correct. When You Cop To Something, You Get To The Next Level. In This Case, The Next Level Is: I Just Learned Something From My Twelve-year-old.

Some People Rely On Rumors And Gossip Because They Are Devoid Of Any Original Thought.

Just Went To The Gym And Worked On Every Body Part. Four People Slapped Me.

When Someone You Love Is Hurting, If It Was Possible, You'd Want To Take Their Pain For Them. But Do I Really Want Cramps And Sore Boobs?

I Think Comedy Is On An Organic Upsurge Right Now Because When I Started, It Was 1978 At The Comedy Store And Letterman Had Just Stopped Emceeing His Morning Show.