My Dad Told Me If I Was

Stop It, Stop Lighting Your Butthol On Fire, And Everybody Listen To Me. If You Light Your Ass On Fire, I Hope You Have Boxers Or A Filter Of Somekind, Because If Your A Bareass Person. Not A Lot Of People Have Done This. Stop It. This Is Why. You Can Cauterize Your Asshole Shut, So When You Fart It Has Nowhere To Go And You Can Have A Fart Attack.

I Love Watching People Get Hit In The Crotch. But Only If They Get Back Up. If Their Teeth Are Bleeding, If They're Really Hurt, If An Ambulance Has To Come, I'm Not Laughing.

I Have A Feeling I'm Going To Wake Up One Day And Say 'i Can't Do Dirty Stuff Anymore, I Want To Go All Clean.' I'll Do Clean Stuff Too, I Like To Entertain People. Then They Egged Me On; We Shot It At The Laugh Factory.

The Nature Of Comedy Is 'just Do It.' But I Think What's Interesting About It Is This Joke Has Been Around And Why. And It's Just Saying What's Wrong And How Wrong Can You Be If You Say It.

My Mom Just Told Me It's Impossible To Know What's Going To Happen In Life. Except With Breakfast, Cause She Eats The Same Thing Every Day.