They Call It Football, But The Object

Did You Hear About The Accountant Who Became Am Embezzler? He Ran Away With The Accounts Payable!

Ten Years Ago If You Would Have Told Me That Mrs. Clinton Would Be The Frontrunner For The Democratic Nomination, I'd Have Never Believed You. Her Only Qualifications For Office Are That She's Mr. Clinton's Partner. And What Does That Mean? The Two Of Them Stand For Dishonesty And Corruption.

The Key Is That I'm Always Relevant. Some Of These Comedians Have Nothing To Say. They Don't Have Any Ideas So It's "f" This And "f" That. They Give You A Whole Series Of Swear Words And It's Really Just A Way For Them To Get Themselves Out Of Trouble When They Can't Come Up With Anything. They're Irrelevant And Ridiculous.

I Didn't Think It Was Fair To Pretend To Give Of Myself When I Was So Selfishly Consumed With My Own Drives.

They Call It Football, But The Object Of The Game Is To Bash The Other Guy So Hard That He's Eventually Carried Off The Field On A Stretcher. I Can't Watch Football Anymore. My Psychiatrist Said It's Better That Way. I Used To Watch A Game, See The Players In A Huddle - And Think They Were Talking About Me.