I Was Adored [as A Kid]. I

Cat Angels Are The Reason There Are No Mice Angels.

All Short Women Have A Delayed Fuse. Marry A Taller Woman: My Wife Was An Inch Or Two Taller Than Me; It's A Sign Of Security.

I Only Direct In Self-defense.

When I Was A Little Kid At Home, I Thought The Whole World Was Jewish. For Years I Thought Roosevelt Was Jewish. I Loved Him. I Thought Of Him As My Father. I'm Always Stunned When I Find Out That People Like Roosevelt And Tolstoy Weren't Jewish. How Could I Love Them So Much?

In Real Life People Fart, In The Movies, People Don't. Why Not? Farts Are A Repressed Minority. The Mouth Gets To Say All Kinds Of Things, But The Other Place Is Supposed To Keep Quiet. But Maybe Our Lower Colons Have Something Interesting To Say. Maybe We Should Listen To Them. Farts Are Human, More Human Than A Lot Of People I Know. I Think We Should Bring Them Out Of The Water Closet And Into The Parlor.