There Must Be A God, Because I

Luckily, A Recent Survey Published In The American Sociological Review Revealed That Atheists Are The Least Trusted Group In America—less Trusted, Even, Than Homosexuals. It Makes Sense At Least We Trust The Homosexuals With Our Hair.

When I Read Books It's To Escape. It's So I Don't Have To Talk To People.

In 1986, Our Commencement Speaker Was George Schultz, Secretary Of State, Fourth In Line To The President. You Get Me-basic Cable's Second Most Popular Fake Newsman. At This Rate, The Class Of 2021 Will Be Addressed By A Zoo Parrot In A Mortar-board That Has Been Trained To Say "congratulations.

Contraception Leads To More Babies Being Born Out Of Wedlock, Like Fire Extinguishers Lead To More Fires.

It's The Way Our Founding Fathers Would Have Wanted It, If They Had Founded Corporations Instead Of Just A Country.