There Is, In The End, The Letting

There Is, In The End, The Letting Go.

It Is, At The Most Basic Level, A Bundle Of Contradictions: A Desire For Power That Strips You Of All Power. A Gesture Of Strength That Divests You Of All Strength.

Bear In Mind, People With Eating Disorders Tend To Be Both Competitive And Intelligent. We Are Incredibly Perfectionistic. We Often Excel In School,athletics,artistic Pursuits. We Also Tend To Quit Without Warning. Refuse To Go To School,drop Out,quit Jobs,leave Lovers,move,lose All Our Money. We Get Sick Of Being Impressive. Rather,we Tire Of Having To Seem Impressive. As A Rule,most Of Us Never Really Believed We Were Any Good In The First Place.

When You Are Mad, Mad Like This, You Don't Know It. Reality Is What You See. When What You See Shifts, Departing From Anyone Else's Reality, It's Still Reality To You.

[i] Learned ... That Friends Are A Good Source Of Food And Soul When One Has Not Yet Gotten The Hang Of Cooking Or Living (as Opposed To Dying) Alone. That Nothing-not Booze, Not Love, Not Sex, Not Work, Not Moving From State To State-will Make The Past Disappear. Only Time And Patience Heal Things. I Learned That Cutting Up Your Arms In An Attempt To Make The Pain Move From Inside To Outside, From Soul To Skin, Is Futile. That Death Is A Cop-out. I Tried All Of These Things.