There Are Reports That If Joe Biden

Republican Candidate George Pataki Said His Dogs Would Give Him The Best Endorsement For Becoming Our Next President. Until They Hear Chris Christie Always Carries Bacon In His Pockets. (joke's On Them, Though, He's Never Going To Give Them Any Of That Pocket Bacon. It's What Gets Him Through Long Meetings!)

Today Russia Announced That It Will Join America's Fight With The Terror Group Isis. Then Putin Said, "but I Did Not Say Which Side.

Thank You Hard Taco Shells For Surviving The Long Journey From Factory, To Supermarket, To My Plate And Then Breaking The Moment I Put Something Inside You. Thank You.

The White House Encouraged Tom Brady To Be More Of A Role Model. They Would've Said More, But There Was A Drunken Secret Service Agent Streaking Across The Rose Garden.

Leno, Conan. They Are Both Really Funny. They Really Know How To Land One.