The World Can Be Such A Fright,

I Don't Know Now If I'm Funny. I Just Keep Talking And Hope That I Hit Something That's Funny.

Don't Hit Women. Never, Ever, Ever.

Osama Bin Laden's Death Has Been In The News All Day. Leftish Stations Are Going, 'president Obama Saves The World.' Stations On The Right Are Going, 'obama Kills Fellow Muslim.'

I Don't Get Emails From My Corporate Overlords.

For The First Time In History, Congress Has 100 Women In It. Congratulations. Welcome To Modern Times, America. It's Great Having 100 Women In Congress. Unless You're In Line For The Congressional Bathroom.