The White House Announced That It Has

On Tuesday, Utah Candidate Mia Love Became The First Black Republican Woman Elected To Congress. She's Also A Mormon. Yeah, A Black Female Republican Mormon. Even Unicorns Are Saying, 'not Buyin' It.'

There Are Reports That If Joe Biden Runs For President, He Would Promise To Serve For Only One Term - Because Nothing Says Confidence Like Promising Your Presidency Would Be Over Quickly.

Hillary Clinton Is Receiving Criticism After Telling A Crowd To 'unlock Their Full Potential,' Because That Line Is Commonly Used By Another Possible Candidate, Carly Fiorina. People Said, 'you Can't Just Steal Someone's Slogan Like That!' And Hillary Said, 'yes We Can!'

Nasa Is Developing Space Taxis To Shuttle Astronauts To The International Space Station. And Just Like New York Taxis, They're All Going To Be Driven By Aliens.

Bp Wants Twitter To Shut Down A Fake Bp Account That Is Mocking The Oil Company. In Response, Twitter Wants Bp To Shut Down The Oil Leak That's Ruining The Ocean.