The United States Has Launched Airstrikes Against

You Can Now Buy A Pack Of Beer Containing 99 Cans. A 99-can Pack Of Beer. Who Says America Has Lost Its Competitive Edge?

Presidential Hopeful Jeb Bush Has Released All Of His Emails. I'd Like To Release All Of My Emails. I've Got Nothing But Emails About Low-cost Funerals And Viagra.

Today Is Tax Day. A Lot Of People Are Hoping They Get Refunds. And That's Just The Folks Here In The Audience.

Barack Obama's Busy Moving Into The White House. Earlier Today, John Mccain Was Blowing On His Soup.

Donald Trump Is On The Show Tonight. Donald Is A Big Man, I Think 230 Pounds -- 235 With Cologne.