The Truth Is I Don't Feel Too

Ooh, It's Too ­embarrassing To Share My Innermost Romantic Secrets - Although I Have Written Danielle The Odd Poem. If Anything They Are More Comedic Than Romantic. They Used To Be Well ­received But That Was Before She Started Studying Shakespeare At Drama College. Now I Feel So ­inept.

He's Got Great Credentials By Winning The World Cup, But He Did It With Brazil - My Granny Could Probably Have Managed Brazil To World Cup Success.

A Handball Is When Your Hand Touches The Ball.

We Have Got Too Many Kids Around The House To Have A Romantic Meal At Home. But Danielle Is A ­fantastic Cook. She Does A Brilliant ­lasagne, Great Roasts And A Great Chilli Dish. She Knows The Way To My Heart.

You've Got No Chance Of Reaching The Top If You're Just Playing For Money.