The True Meaning Of Christmas Is Actually

I Try To Retire Jokes As Soon As I Can Once I Put Them On An Album. But I Can't Think Of Anything I Just Stopped Doing For No Reason.

Im Not The Voice Of Reason; Im More The Guy Using These Offensive Topics As Fodder To Raise Tension In A Joke.

I'm Getting Pretty Worried. My Girlfriend Hasn't Gotten Her Period. And She's Already 14.

I Have That Need In Me, I Want Everyone To Love Me, But I'm Embarrassed By That Need, So I Wanted To Cover It Up In My Persona. I Felt Like I Wouldn't Be Able To Do Stand-up For A Career If I Was Needy. I Didn't Want To Be Complaining Or Whining Onstage. I Wanted To Be Cool And Do Exactly What I Wanted To Do. That Way I Would Never Have To Change For Anybody.

When I Die, I Want To Be Cremated With Everybody.