The Skinnification Of America's Jeanscape Has Gone

Now I Don't Know Why He's Denying Them Habeas Corpus. I Can Only Assume The Guys They Got Detained Over There Did Something Really Unforgivable. Like Remind Obama He Was Once A Professor Of Constitutional Law.

Marijuana Is A Gateway Drug That Can Lead To Awful Things, Like Phish Getting Back Together.

Arbitrary Rules Teach Kids Discipline: If Every Rule Made Sense, They Wouldn't Be Learning Respect For Authority, They'd Be Learning Logic.

Don't Be Bitter. Everybody Suffers. If You Can Accept Your Suffering Then You Will Understand Other People Better. Be Grateful For Pain. Love Life.

Science Attacks Our Most Cherished Opinions. Opinions Which Come Straight From Our Collective Gut. Oh, Wait, According To Gastroenterologists, The Only Thing That Comes From The Gut Is Waste Left From The Digestion Of Food. That’s Right, “waste.” I Guess That Means That Scientists Literally Think Our Opinions Should Be Flushed Down The Toilet!