The Simple Fact Is, Offense Is Taken,

It's Better To Create Something That Others Criticise Than To Create Nothing And Criticise Others. Go Create, Have Fun!!

I Can't Stand It. I Can't Stand Someone Being Embarrassed. I Don't Know Why. If Someone Slips Over And The First Thing They Do Is Look Around, I Pretend I Haven't Seen It.

Being On The Edge Isn't As Safe, But The View Is Better

I Think, As A Comedian, The Funniest You Can Be Is With People You Know, And [whom] You've Known For Years, In A Pub. That's As Funny As You Get, And So The Aim [while Stand-up] Is To Get That Funny On Stage With 5,000 Strangers, To Get That Funny In A Room Where People Shouldn't Be Listening But They Are.

I Always Knew I Had To Be 100 Percent In Charge, Even When I Was A Middle Manager. I Used To Say To My Boss, "just Give Me Enough Rope And Then Fire Me."