The Short Memories Of The American Voters

If We Took Congress Seriously, We Would Be Worrying All The Time.

On Account Of Being A Democracy And Run By The People, We Are The Only Nation In The World That Has To Keep A Government Four Years, No Matter What It Does.

The English Should Give Ireland Home Rule - And Reserve The Motion Picture Rights.

When I Die, My Epitaph Or Whatever You Call Those Signs On Gravestones Is Going To Read: "i Joked About Every Prominent Man Of My Time, But I Never Met A Man I Didn't Like."

Political Elections Are A Good Deal Like Marriages, There's No Accounting For Anyone's Taste.