The Reason There Are Two Senators For

Statistics Show 50% Of The People Use The Internet. The Rest Have Sex With Real People.

And Under The New Guidelines Issued By The Obama Administration, Federal Agents Will Not Pursue Pot-smoking Patients In States That Allow Medical Marijuana. This New Policy Is Called 'don't Ask, Don't -- What Was I Talking About?'

They Say Hot Dogs Can Kill You. How Do You Know It's Not The Bun?

President Bush Went Out Touting His Economic Record In Ohio Last Week. Now This Is A State That Lost 225,000 Jobs Since Bush Took Office. You Know, If Bush Wants To Tout His Record, He Should Do It Somewhere Where The Bush Economy Has Actually Created Jobs, Like India, Or Thailand, Or China.

As Miss America, My Goal Is To Bring Peace To The Entire World And Then Get My Own Apartment.