The Quest For The Next Key Art

Really, All Religious Teachings Can Be Boiled Down To: “just Be Cool. Don’t Be An Asshole.

If Properly Dried And Trimmed, New York-style Pizza Could Be Used To Make A Box For Chicago-style Pizza. I Love A Slice When I'm In Nyc, But It's Like Eating A Slim Jim Compared With A Filet Mignon. One Slice Of Gino's East Stuffed Sausage Pizza Is A Bigger Meal Than An Entire New York Pie.

It's Hard To Swallow When People Say, "oh My God, You're A Master Of Something." I Say, "no, I'm Actually A Student Of That. I Could Turn You On To Websites For 25 Masters, And You'll Quickly See That I Am Their Disciple."

Don't Use Barbiturates Before Going On Stage. And Be Honest.

I Have A Ridiculously Beautiful Wife Who's Super Sexy, And As Long As She's Happy With Me, I Don't Need To Look In The Mirror And Think, "how Do I Stack Up Next To Bradley Cooper? Would Cooper Rock This Shirt?" Doesn't Matter. He Does Not Have Your Wife. You Do.