The Peak Of Being A Fan Is

Dating Is Pressure And Tension. What Is A Date, Really, But A Job Interview That Lasts All Night?

Why Would Anybody Want A Friend?

I Will Never Understand Why They Cook On Tv. I Can't Smell It. Can't Eat It. Can't Taste It. The End Of The Show They Hold It Up To The Camera, 'well, Here It Is. You Can't Have Any. Thanks For Watching. Goodbye.'

Comedy Is Just Complaining In An Entertaining Way, Enterplaining.

Have You Ever Seen That Guy Who Has The Record For Fattest Man In The World? Bob Hughes, The Fattest Man In The World... 1400 Pounds. Ladies And Gentlemen, The Man Has Let Himself Go.