The Only Way I Will Do A

My Favorite People To Have Fun With Are Police Officers 'cause They're So Serious, You Know.

If I Speak Spanish In My Show, Which Sometimes I Do, I Translate What I Say. I Make It Where I Can Still Be Myself, But I Make It To Where Everybody Knows What The Hell Is Going On And When Everyone Leaves, They're Like "ok, I Get It."

If I Wouldn't Have Done Comedy, I Would Have Been A Teacher. I Was Really Good When I Took An Exploratory Teaching Class In High School, At Getting Kids' Attention, And Delivering Lesson Plans. Though My Principal Even Told Me That This Was What I Was Meant To Do. And That Being A Big-mouth Comedian Was A Waste Of Time.

Drama Is Not My Passion. If I Do It, It's For A Check. It's Not What I Want To Do. Comedy's My Thing. Stand Up's My Thing. Everything That Comes From That Is Frosting On The Cake.

By The End Of The Semester [in The High School] I Was The Only One Up In Front Of The Class Everyday. Actually I Could Have Passed The Class Four Times Over Because Every Time You Got In Front Of The Class You Got Extra Credit.that Was The Only Class I Got An A In And It Was The Funniest Report Card Because It Read Speech - A But Everything Else Was Just D, D, D, D.