I Drink Diet Coke So I Can

Kids, Man, They're Way Too Honest. They're Like Mini-alcoholics.

Some People Can Handle Alcohol. You Know Who You Are. Some People Can't Handle Alcohol. The Police Know Who You Are.

I'm A Big Boy, But I Can Get Jiggy With It. Ladies, I Will Go To Dance Clubs, And I Will Tear It Up Hardcore For A Good 30 Seconds.

I'm Not Fat. I'm Fluffy!

If I'm Drinking I Can Either Be The Nicest Guy Ever Or I'm The Guy You Should Leave Alone.