I Drink Diet Coke So I Can

[making People Laugh] Was A Secret Dream I Kept And I Didn't Tell Anybody About It Until I Was About 18.

If I'm Drinking I Can Either Be The Nicest Guy Ever Or I'm The Guy You Should Leave Alone.

A Lot Of The Comedians Nowadays Just Do Comedy As A Stepping Stone. Take For Example Dane Cook. The Guy Is Huge. The Main Reason He Got Into It Is To Do What He Is Doing Now: Film And Television Work.

When You're A Comedian, The Holy Grail Is An Hour Long Hbo Special.

Life Is Measured By How You Lived It, Not By The Years.