The Only Time People Dislike Gossip Is

A President Just Can't Make Much Showing Against Congress. They Lay Awake Nights, Thinking Up Things To Be Against The President On.

If You Want To Know When A War Might Be Coming, You Just Watch The U.s. And See When It Starts Cutting Down On Its Defenses. It's The Surest Barometer In The World.

The South Is Dry And Will Vote Dry. That Is, Everybody That Is Sober Enough To Stagger To The Polls Will.

There Is One Thing About Englishmen, They Won't Fix Anything Till It's Just About Totally Ruined. You Couldn't Get The English To Fix Anything At The Start. No! They Like To Sit And Watch It Grow Worse. Then, When It Just Looks Like The Whole Thing Has Gone Up Salt Creek, Why, The English Jump In And Rescue It.

Will Rogers Used To Say He Wouldn't Run For President No Matter How Badly The Country Needed A Comedian.