The Only Thing That You Can Get

My Wife Was A Beautiful Woman Before We Had Children.

Through Humor, You Can Soften Some Of The Worst Blows That Life Delivers. And Once You Find Laughter, No Matter How Painful Your Situation Might Be, You Can Survive It.

My Father Wanted Me To Play Pro Football, And He Didn't Like The Fact That I'd Left School. And He Said, "it Takes A Man To Play Football. And Any Fool Can Go Up On The Stage And Make An Ass Of Himself.

I Don't Have A Clue About The Way To Achievement, However The Way To Disappointment Is Attempting To Please Everyone.

A Person With No Children Says, "well I Just Love Children," And You Say "why?" And They Say, "because A Child Is So Truthful, That's What I Love About 'em - They Tell The Truth." That's A Lie, I've Got Five Of 'em. The Only Time They Tell The Truth Is If They're Having Pain.