The Only Thing That Gets Me High

So My Heart Goes Out To Them. Figuratively. I Would Never Actually Entrust My Heart To Scientists—they'd Probably Implant It In A Baboon. And A Baboon With My Heart Would Be Practically Unstoppable. Baboon Strength And Agility Combined With My Determination And Media Savvy? It Would Be A Threat To All Of Humanity.

I’m The Frosting On America’s Cake, And Tonight I’m Willing To Let You Lick The Bowl.

If I Ever Succumbed To The Demon On My Shoulder Going, "you Should Get Something Special Because You're Famous," That Is The Moment That My Behavior Will Be Caught On Social Media For All Time. I'm Even Afraid To Use It To Get A Reservation. This Is The Person Who Will Tweet, "can You Believe What This A-hole Did?"

Twenty-two Astronauts Were Born In Ohio. What Is It About Your State That Makes People Want To Flee The Earth?" - Stephen Colbert To Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones, "the Colbert Report," November 3, 2005

Like All Great Theologies, Bill [o'reilly]'s Can Be Boiled Down To One Sentence: There Must Be A God, Because I Don't Know How Things Work.