The Only Thing That Gets Me High

The Interesting Thing About Grief, I Think, Is That It Is Its Own Size. It Is Not The Size Of You. It Is Its Own Size. And Grief Comes To You.

And My Daughter Said, 'why Are You Yelling At Us?' And I Said, 'i'm Trying To Discipline You!' And Then She Looked Up At Me With Her Tear-stained Eyes And Said, 'this Is How You Teach Children, By Making Them Cry.' And It Was Such A Clenching Reminder - She Won Not Only The Argument, But She Won Life With That Statement. I Just Burst Out Laughing, And I Think They Were So Surprised That I Burst Out Laughing, That They Did Too.

Comedians Dissect Jokes All The Time. Comedians Are Beautiful Structuralists. But Ultimately It's An Athletic Endeavor.

It Used To Be, Everyone Was Entitled To Their Own Opinion, But Not Their Own Facts. But That's Not The Case Anymore. Facts Matter Not At All. Perception Is Everything.

Sixty Eight Percent Of Republicans Don't Believe In Evolution. On The Other Hand, Only Five Percent Of Monkeys Believe In Republicans.