The Only Reason I Got Into Stand-up

Chemistry Can Be A Good And Bad Thing. Chemistry Is Good When You Make Love With It. Chemistry Is Bad When You Make Crack With It.

I'm A Big Fan Of Money. I Like It, I Use It, I Have A Little. I Keep It In A Jar On Top Of My Refrigerator. I'd Like To Put More In That Jar. That's Where You Come In.

He Has A 5 Year Plan... What Is It, Don't Die?

I Still Like Some Of The Stuff, Skateboarding. Just Stupid Things.

I Bought My Parents Some Stuff. That Feels Kind Of Good To Be Able To Do That. I Got Them A Place In Florida. I Think I'm Allowed To Say That - I Hope My Dad Doesn't Get Mad At Me. But I Don't Spend Money On Myself. I Don't Like Myself Enough Yet. But The People I Love, I Like Spending The Cash On Them.