The Last Time I Saw A Blonde

A German Sense Of Humor Is An Oxymoron.

I'm Going Out With These Old Guys. One Guy Gave Me A Hickey And Left His Teeth In My Neck. Another Man, We Were Having A Perfectly Lovely Dinner; He Looked Up And Me And Went: You're Not My Wife! Another Guy Died During Dinner. I Had To Go In His Pocket To Get The American Express Card. Then You Wonder: What Would He Tip? Another Guy Said: I Want You To Meet My Family, And Took Me To The Cemetery.

Life Is Hard. And We Better Laugh At Everything, Otherwise We're Going Down The Tube.

My Mother Could Make Anybody Feel Guilty - She Used To Get Letters Of Apology From People She Didn't Even Know.

I Want To Be Buried In A Valentino Gown And I Want Harry Winston To Make Me A Toe Tag.