The Last Few Years Of My Life

It Is True That All Of The Current Presidential Candidates Once Denied That They Had Any Intention Of Running. But The Fact That I Am Also A Liar, Doesn't Make Me A Candidate.

I Think We Should Just Tip The Government If It Does A Good Job. Fifteen Percent Is The Standard Tip, Isn't It?

We Have Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself...and Of Course The Boogieman.

I Admit I Do Have Some Drawbacks And Limitations As A Candidate. Although I Am A Professional Comedian, Some Of My Critics Maintain That This Is Not Enough. I Cannot Deny That I Stand Before You Untested And Inexperienced - I Only Spent Two Years In Television, Never As A Romantic Lead Or A Song And Dance Man.

I'm Often Asked Why I Travel Around The Country Talking Politics. Is It For Humanitarian Reasons, Community Spirit, Or Is It For The Money, The Limousines Or The Girls? The Answers Are: No, No, Yes Yes Yes!