The Key To Life Is Balance, Especially

If You Are Wearing A Bandana You Better Have Something Wise To Say, Because You Are Starting With A Credibility Deficit.

How Fast Does A Zebra Have To Run Before It Looks Gray.

I Think Hair Gel Was Invented To Make It Easier To Identify Assholes From A Distance.

Sometimes If I Really Want To Get Someone's Attention, I'll Start A Sentence With Something Like, "i'm Not Racist, But..." I Say, "i'm Not Racist, But You Look Great Today." They Say, "that Wasn't Racist At All." I Said, "i Know. I Said I'm Not Racist. You Never Listen. Typical Mexican."

I Wonder If There Were Any Goths In Gothic Times. They're Like: You Look Completely Appropriate. You Don't Look Stupid Or Lonely At All.