The Grass Is Always Greener Over The

When You're An Orthodox Worrier, Some Days Are Worse Than Others.

Pregnancy Is The Only Time In A Woman's Life She Can Help God Work A Miracle.

I Was A Closet Pacifier Advocate. So Were Most Of My Friends. Unknown To Our Mothers, We Owned Thirty Or Forty Of Those Little Suckers That Were Placed Strategically Around The House So A Cry Could Be Silenced In Less Than Thirty Seconds. Even Though Bottles Were Boiled, Rooms Disinfected, And Germs Fought One On One, No One Seemed To Care Where The Pacifier Had Been.

There Is Nothing More Miserable In The World Than To Arrive In Paradise And Look Like Your Passport Photo.

I Have Seen My Kid Struggle Into The Kitchen In The Morning With Outfits That Need Only One Accessory: An Empty Gin Bottle.