The Government Doesn't Want You To Use

My Mother Always Says: "you Know Better, So You'll Be Punished. Your Friends Don't Know Better, So They Won't Be Punished. They Can Go Snatch Chains And They'll Be Fine. But If You Snatch Chains, You'll End Up In Jail Because You Know Better."

When You Become A Comedian A Lot Of Stuff That Made You Laugh Before Just Stops. You Stop Watching Your Old Cartoons You Used To Watch. You Stop Reading The Funnies. It's Like Working At A Strip Club. You Don't Come Home And Turn On The Playboy Channel.

Yeah, I Love Being Famous. It's Almost Like Being White, Y'know?

America Is The Greatest Country In The Whole World.

A Man Is Only As Faithful As His Options.