The Goal Of All Inanimate Objects Is

The Worst Thing About The Miracle Of Modern Communications Is The Pavlovian Pressure It Places Upon Everyone To Communicate Whenever A Bell Rings.

There Are No Liberals Behind Steering Wheels.

Serious Journalism Need Not Be Solemn.

The Best Thing About Being President Is That It Gets You Out Of American Life. I Don't Know What The Theory Is Behind This, But It Is A Fact. The First Thing We Do With A President Is Shunt Him Off To A Siding Where Nothing American Can Ever Happen To Him.

The Sinister Nature Of The American Soil Is Apparent In Places Like Gettysburg. Fertilize It With The Blood Of Heros, And It Brings Forth A Frozen-custard Stand.