The Goal Of All Inanimate Objects Is

The Charm Of Television Entertainment Is Its Ability To Bridge The Chasm Between Dinner And Bedtime Without Mental Distraction.

Humans Treat Time As A Map And Always Know Where They Are Located On It And Respond With The Appropriate Emotion.

Of All The People Expressing Their Mental Vacuity, None Has A Better Excuse For An Empty Head Than The Newspaperman: If He Pauses To Restock His Brain, He Invites Onrushing Deadlines To Trample Him Flat. Broadcasting The Contents Of Empty Minds Is What Most Of Us Do Most Of The Time, And Nobody More Relentlessly Than I.

Ah, Summer, What Power You Have To Make Us Suffer And Like It.

An Educated Person Is One Who Has Learned That Information Almost Always Turns Out To Be At Best Incomplete And Very Often False, Misleading, Fictitious, Mendacious - Just Dead Wrong.