The First Year I Had Money, I

You Want My Dark Side? Have I Ever Stolen Anything? Not So Much Intentionally. But I Don't Think It's So Much Stealing As... Being A Part Of The Flow Of The Universe. You Know, Where There's An Exchange. It's Positive. It's Negative. There's An Exchange Of Goods And Services.

I Wanted To Be A Doctor Once Upon A Time, But It Turns Out You've Got To Study, And That Wasn't Going To Happen. I Had No Idea What I Was Going To Do. I Had Trouble Holding Jobs Because They Want You To Be On Time. That Wasn't Going To Work.

My Favorite Thing About New York Is The People, Because I Think They’re Misunderstood. I Don’t Think People Realize How Kind New York People Are.

I Kinda Like This Jay-z Thing, Where He’s Retired, But He Keeps Doing Shows. I Think I Beat Him To That. If You Say You’re Retired, People Don’t Bother You So Much, And Then If You Want To Do Something, You Can Do It.

Golf Was My First Glimpse Of Comedy. I Was A Caddy When I Was A Kid. I Was On The Golf Course Rather Than Being In Lessons, But I Can Play Better Now Than I Could Then.