The Fact That I Didn't Finish School

I Think The Warning Labels On Alcoholic Beverages Are Too Bland. They Should Be More Vivid. Here Are A Few I Would Suggest: "alcohol Will Turn You Into The Same Asshole Your Father Was."; "drinking Will Significantly Improve Your Chances Of Murdering A Loved One."; "if You Drink Long Enough, At Some Point You Will Vomit Up The Lining Of Your Stomach."; "use This Product And You May Wake Up In Morocco Wearing A Cowboy Suit And Tongue-kissing A Transmission Salesman."

You Can't Be The Fastest Gun In Town Forever. There Comes A Time When You're Not The Golden Boy, And You Have To Go Off Somewhere And Figure Yourself Out.

Medical Researchers Have Discovered A New Disease That Has No Symptoms. It Is Impossible To Detect, And There Is No Known Cure. Fortunately, No Cases Have Been Reported Thus Far.

The God Excuse, The Last Refuge Of A Man With No Answers And No Argument.

It Ended Suddenly For Brenda, More Slowly For Me. My Runs Began Getting Shorter And Less Pleasurable. I'd Feel Bad After Only One Day, Or Only A Few Hours, Instead Of Four Or Five Days. And I Began To Want To Stop. One Of The Proudest Moments Of My Life Was At A Rock-'n'-roll Theater In New Jersey. A Guy Actually Put Some Coke Under My Nose And I Was Able To Say, "no, Thanks," And Turn My Head Away.