The Customer’s Always Right.

I Saw A Guy Juggling Chain Saws, It Was Cool, Unless Something Needed To Be Sawed Down, Then It's Annoying.

I Spilled Some Vodka On The Carpet, And I Vacuumed It Up, And The Vacuum Got Drunk. I Had To Take The Hoover To Detox.

Is A Hippopotamus A Hippopotamus Or Just A Really Cool Opotamus?

I Used To Do Drugs. I Still Do Drugs. But I Used To, Too.

I Don't Wear A Watch Because I Want My Arms To Weigh The Same. So If Somebody Asks Me What Time It Is, I Have To Tell Them Something That Is Going On. "what Time Is It, Mitch?" "uh, That Guy Is Eating A Hamburger." "shi*, I Had To Be Somewhere..."