The Conversion Of Paul Was No Conversion

My Situation Is A Solemn One: Life Is Offered To Me On The Condition Of Eating Beefsteaks. But Death Is Better Than Cannibalism. My Will Contains Directions For My Funeral, Which Will Be Followed, Not By Mourning Coaches, But By Oxen, Sheep, Flocks Of Poultry, And A Small Traveling Aquarium Of Live Fish, All Wearing White Scarves In Honor Of The Man Who Perished Rather Than Eat His Fellow Creatures. It Will Be, Without The Exception Of Noah's Ark, The Most Remarkable Thing Of Its Kind Ever Seen.

He Said That Private Practice In Medicine Ought To Be Put Down By Law. When I Asked Him Why, He Said That Private Doctors Were Ignorant Licensed Murders.

The British Churchgoer Prefers A Severe Preacher Because He Thinks A Few Home Truths Will Do His Neighbors No Harm.

Any Man Who Is Not A Communist At The Age Of Twenty Is A Fool. Any Man Who Is Still A Communist At The Age Of Thirty Is An Even Bigger Fool.

Alcohol Is A Very Necessary Article. It Enables Parliament To Do Things At Eleven At Night That No Sane Person Would Do At Eleven In The Morning.