The Comics I Hate Are Thieves. Nothing's

Despite All The Advancements In Science, And All Things About Religion That Are Disproved It Still Marches On. The Bottom Line Is That The Only Real, Absolutely Provable Answers About Life And Our Place In The Universe Are Provided By Science, And Religion Has Been Holding Down Science Since Day One.

When You're Standing Around For An Hour Doing Stand Up It's No Big Deal But When You're Standing Around Watching A Show For An Hour - It's A Big Difference. It's Annoying - Your Feet Hurt, Your Back Hurts - It's Just Not The Most Comfortable Way To See Stand-up Comedy.

Never Stay In A Bad Marriage, And Don't Hang Around With Psycho Coke Fiends.

Most Of My Bits Are Long Stream-of-consciousness- Type Things, And When I'm Doing Them Onstage, Other Places To Take The Theme Or Idea Will Hit Me, And I Just Go With It.

If You Are The Greatest, Why Would You Go Around Talking About It?