The Best Way To Ruin A Comedy

I Went Into A Mcdonald's Yesterday And Said, 'i'd Like Some Fries.' The Girl At The Counter Said, 'would You Like Some Fries With That?'

At The Airport If You Refuse To Be Patted Down, They Arrest You. And What's The First Thing They Do When They Arrest You? They Pat You Down.

Hillary Clinton's Opponent In The U.s. Senate Race, The Republican She's Going To Be Running Against, Has Been Married Three Times, Had An Affair With His Chief Of Staff, Had Two Kids With Her While Still Married To His Second Wife. This Is The First Time In History That A Clinton Is The 'family Values' Candidate.

The New Specialty At The Iowa Fair This Year Is Fried Butter On A Stick. Of Course, If You're Like Me And You Want Like To Eat Healthy, Get Your Stick Of Butter Baked.

A Top Geneticist At Stanford Says Human Intelligence Is Declining. You Know What That Means? We Are Seeing Congress At Its Smartest And Most Effective Right Now.