I Went Into A Mcdonald's Yesterday And

Politics Is Just Show Business For Ugly People.

The Iraqis Sat Down For Talks On How To Put Together A Post-war Government. They Would Have Sat Down Yesterday, But Somebody Stole All Their Couches.

President Bush Said That American Workers Will Need New Skills To Get The New Jobs In The 21st Century. Some Of The Skills They're Going To Need Are Spanish, Chinese, Korean, Because That's Where The Jobs Went. Who Better Than Bush As An Example Of What Can Happen When You Take A Job Without Any Training.

When They Said "make Love, Not War" At Woodstock, They Never Imagined That One Would Become As Dangerous As The Other.

President-elect Barack Obama Is Starting To Get An Idea Of Just How Hard His New Job Is Going To Be. Today, He Said He Wanted To Bring A Sense Of Accountability To Washington. I Think They Realized Actual Accountability, Never Going To Happen.