That's Why Credit Card Companies Are Evil.

This Story Is True. Of Course, There Are Many Lies Therein And Most Of It Did Not Happen, But It's All True. In That Sense It Is Deeply Religious, Perhaps Even Biblical.

I Think We Look Back At Times Past With Fondness Because We Were Younger. Life Had Not Yet Begun Pecking Away At Our Innocence Like Buzzards On Fresh Road Kill.

Don't Ever Rope Me In As A Late-night Talk Show Host. I Don't Want To Be One.

She Still Cared For Me, And The Best Way I Could Make Amends To Her Was To Be Happy. I Do Have A Knack For Finding Great Women.

When I Stopped Drinking, It Was Only Because I Thought If I Don't Stop, I'm Going To Die.