Thank Heaven Election Day Is Over. No

Everything Went Smoothly At The Sailing Events Today, Except For The British Team. They Forgot To Bring Limes And They All Got Scurvy.

From 1934 To 1963, The Biggest Criminals In America Ended Up On Alcatraz. Nowadays They End Up On Wall Street.

All They Teach You In Drama School Is How To Do Stage Fights And Be A Pain In Rehearsals.

I Came To America, And I Made Good. It's An Old Story, But It Hasn't Been Told In A Long Time. Usually, It's, 'i'm An Immigrant, I Came Here And Got Persecuted.' My Story Is I Came Here, I Worked Hard, And It Worked Out All Right. So It's Still Available.

You Know Who They're Blaming For Global Warming Now? This Is True. Fat People.