Sweetheart, Wake Up; You've Destroyed The House

Stephenie Meyer: Her Vampires Are Sparkly, Which I Think We Can All Agree Is Wrong.

I Could Stand On My Head And Flick The Bean Right There At The Dinner Table And My Mom Would Be All, "honey, Christmas Is Family Time, We Should Be Together" And Make Me Finish In Front Of Everyone.

It’s Like He Has This Power Over Me—like I Have An Eating Disorder And He’s A Package Of Oreo Double Stuff Cookies.

After All The Evidence Is In--after You've Run All The Facts By Everything You Know--and You're Still Lost, You Have To Do Some Things On Faith.

Advice, Then, Young Yeoman: When Referring To The King's Middle Daughter, State That She Is Fair, Speculate That She Is Pious, But Unless You'd Like To Spend Your Watch Looking For The Box Where Your Head Is Kept, Resist The Urge To Wax Ignorant On Her Naughty Bits." -pocket I Don't Know What That Means, Sir." -yeoman Speak Not Of Regan's Shaggacity, Son" [...] -pocket